New Website
Sunday ,17 January 2010
Well... it’s true... I have a new website up and running. Believe me it is a good thing. Don’t worry, this one isn’t really going anywhere, but it is going to be here more for myself. It won’t be getting promoted and I’m happy if a few people stumble upon it here and there. But if you have enjoyed my truly snarky self that can laugh at anything and who is painfully honest, you will definitely want to bookmark the new site. It’s also the site I’d love you to link to. Yes there is a button you can use to link and here it is (in case you want to link now and can’t wait to check out the site).
Grab my button for your website
So I hope you will all check out the new site and feel free to migrate yourselves there. The majority of my efforts will be placed there. Plus it is way more fun.
See you all running with scissors!!!!
Grab my button for your website
So I hope you will all check out the new site and feel free to migrate yourselves there. The majority of my efforts will be placed there. Plus it is way more fun.
See you all running with scissors!!!!
0 Comments
Snide Sundays
Sunday ,17 January 2010 Filed in: Snide Sundays | Humor
1. Although I am mildly flattered by your direct approach of telling me you want to make out with me and "be nude with me", I'm going to have to respectfully decline as I think you are one of the most chauvenistic, disgusting, pig of a man I have ever met. But thank you.
2. Why are the ten men in this room all retards?... and why am I attracted to 8 of them? Someone slap me.
3. Hello drunk girl. I realize that I don't hang around with women very often and lately I've felt sad about that. But I need to thank you for reminding me how ANNOYING AS FUCK so many women in this town are. I'm sure getting drunk and speaking like a baby has gotten you laid in the past but it makes me kinda want to slap you. My mother used to give me shit for talking like that when I was five and clearly someone should have done the same for you. Have a little self respect. And stop screaming the same damn thing over and over at 80dB because you are trying to get your point across or get everyone to pay attention to you. And for the love of GOD fucking stop acting completely helpless. I'm sure you can figure out how to do up the FUCKING seatbelt in the cab and do not need one of the boys to help you. It is NOT endearing and makes you look like a fucking idiot. If my neice or my god daughter ever grow up to think that this is how a woman should behave to get a man (or attention or whatever) I'm going to slap them both into the next century. YOU, woman, make me ashamed to have common genetalia. But thanks for making me happy to work with all men. It's been great hanging out with you.
4. Well, it's good to see that people still seem to mix up reply and reply all. I was starting to worry that I was falling out of the gossip loop but then I get those lovely surprises of an accidental email into my mail box and I discover all the inappropriate things that people probably don't want me to know about. It's so refreshing.
Drunk emails from a cab
Last night I had the "pleasure" of sharing a cab home with a few of the bitchiest, shallowest, most annoying women I have had the experience of meeting in a long time. Here are the emails I sent my girlfriend (who I had been out with) from the cab.
Subject: Help
From: sarah
Date: January 16, 2010 2:49:18 AM MST
To: k.b@x.m
Hey babe. You probably won't get this until you get to work but I an trapped in a cab with the most annoying drunk girls EVER!!!! If they squeel or screach one more time I'm going to reach back and throat punch them. Fuck they are ANNOYING (and stupid). Okay. In done venting now (maybe).
Will you get me from jail if I am charged with assault in the next 10 minutes.
S
Subject: no seriously.... help
From: sarah
Date: January 16, 2010 3:03:07 AM MST
To: k.b@x.m
I'm going to kill myself. When did women become so FUCKING annoying? Thank god you are not like this. But just so you know I will throat punch you if you ever act this fucking pathetic
Subject: home safe... and no deaths
From: sarah
Date: January 16, 2010 3:42:15 AM MST
To: k.b@x.m
No seriously... I almost killed someone tonight. I had no idea girls were so fucking annoying. When I tell you about it you will so be on my side... I'm okay with abnoxious because we've all been there but THIS.... was something special. I am ashamed to be associated with the female population after the fucking pathetic and annoying behaviour I just witnessed. If I EVER behave like that fucking kill me.
Anyway, emailing you on the ride was the only way I could stay sane and not throat punch someone. Thanks (even though you did nothing and are just reading these now... wherever you are).
Later babe,
I did have a great time with you tonight (and the cab ride home just made me appreciate you so much more!!!!!!!)
Subject: Help
From: sarah
Date: January 16, 2010 2:49:18 AM MST
To: k.b@x.m
Hey babe. You probably won't get this until you get to work but I an trapped in a cab with the most annoying drunk girls EVER!!!! If they squeel or screach one more time I'm going to reach back and throat punch them. Fuck they are ANNOYING (and stupid). Okay. In done venting now (maybe).
Will you get me from jail if I am charged with assault in the next 10 minutes.
S
Subject: no seriously.... help
From: sarah
Date: January 16, 2010 3:03:07 AM MST
To: k.b@x.m
I'm going to kill myself. When did women become so FUCKING annoying? Thank god you are not like this. But just so you know I will throat punch you if you ever act this fucking pathetic
Subject: home safe... and no deaths
From: sarah
Date: January 16, 2010 3:42:15 AM MST
To: k.b@x.m
No seriously... I almost killed someone tonight. I had no idea girls were so fucking annoying. When I tell you about it you will so be on my side... I'm okay with abnoxious because we've all been there but THIS.... was something special. I am ashamed to be associated with the female population after the fucking pathetic and annoying behaviour I just witnessed. If I EVER behave like that fucking kill me.
Anyway, emailing you on the ride was the only way I could stay sane and not throat punch someone. Thanks (even though you did nothing and are just reading these now... wherever you are).
Later babe,
I did have a great time with you tonight (and the cab ride home just made me appreciate you so much more!!!!!!!)
Female Relations Part II
Wednesday ,13 January 2010 Filed in: My Life | Relationships
To be fair, I had to write a follow up to my post Female Relations.
My girlfriend and I have sorted it out. And the funny thing is that we are actually better friends for it. Strange you might say, but here is my advise to all you girls out there. Surround yourself with women who can handle being called out on shitty behaviour (because at some point or another we are all going to pull a jackass ignorant move) and make sure you actually call them out.
After I calmed down a little I called my friend and full up asked her what the FUCK? She (of course) didn't remember a lot, but completely took my word for it that she behaved like a jackass. This was crucial as I fucking hate it when girls accuse each other of over reacting. Secondly, she didn't flinch at it or deny it and owned the fact that I was likely going to be pissed at her for a while and she accepted it humbly (I wasn't... I had already decided it didn't much matter anymore as far as the outcome... I was just deciding how much to trust her). Like I said, after a solid conversation, I actually could call her a better friend than before. Why? Because I know we are both going to fuck up in our friendship... but I don't have to be afraid of that. We'll call each other out... learn and move on. That's real friendship.
So what is my advise about female friendship? Here's what I think girls need to strive for both in themselves as friends, and to look for in the people to trust completely.
1. Be honest with each other... if your girlfriend has pissed you off do not say "nothing's wrong" when there is. You are just going to let it get pent up and take it out on the wrong people or it is going to fester in your friendship (if she doesn't know what she did).
2. If you fucked up (whether you remember or know how or not), own it. That's write, if your friend "feels" betrayed, and she is a reasonable person (as every good friend should be) then it doesn't matter if you meant to or not. Figure out what you did, figure out how to not do it again.
3. Get the fuck over it. If you love your friend, she accepts she fucked up and again, you are close enough to trust each other, DON'T HOLD A GRUDGE!!! I'm not saying forgive and forget, because if everyone forgets we just make the same damn mistakes over and over. I don't really care that my girl fucked up. It's water under the bridge. I made a deal with her that I will call her out immediately if she ever does it again (she was drunk and being ignorant) and she has agreed that she now has to humbly accept my teasing over the matter (believe me... if you knew our relationship you'd know it is in fact in good fun... we opperate on the "fear, sarcasm, and ridicule is the sign of acceptance... so now I gave her the nickname CB - short for cock blocker - hee hee).
That's about all the advice I hae for now. I do believe that friends can get over just about anyting. If they are honest with each other (and trustworthy individuals).
My girlfriend and I have sorted it out. And the funny thing is that we are actually better friends for it. Strange you might say, but here is my advise to all you girls out there. Surround yourself with women who can handle being called out on shitty behaviour (because at some point or another we are all going to pull a jackass ignorant move) and make sure you actually call them out.
After I calmed down a little I called my friend and full up asked her what the FUCK? She (of course) didn't remember a lot, but completely took my word for it that she behaved like a jackass. This was crucial as I fucking hate it when girls accuse each other of over reacting. Secondly, she didn't flinch at it or deny it and owned the fact that I was likely going to be pissed at her for a while and she accepted it humbly (I wasn't... I had already decided it didn't much matter anymore as far as the outcome... I was just deciding how much to trust her). Like I said, after a solid conversation, I actually could call her a better friend than before. Why? Because I know we are both going to fuck up in our friendship... but I don't have to be afraid of that. We'll call each other out... learn and move on. That's real friendship.
So what is my advise about female friendship? Here's what I think girls need to strive for both in themselves as friends, and to look for in the people to trust completely.
1. Be honest with each other... if your girlfriend has pissed you off do not say "nothing's wrong" when there is. You are just going to let it get pent up and take it out on the wrong people or it is going to fester in your friendship (if she doesn't know what she did).
2. If you fucked up (whether you remember or know how or not), own it. That's write, if your friend "feels" betrayed, and she is a reasonable person (as every good friend should be) then it doesn't matter if you meant to or not. Figure out what you did, figure out how to not do it again.
3. Get the fuck over it. If you love your friend, she accepts she fucked up and again, you are close enough to trust each other, DON'T HOLD A GRUDGE!!! I'm not saying forgive and forget, because if everyone forgets we just make the same damn mistakes over and over. I don't really care that my girl fucked up. It's water under the bridge. I made a deal with her that I will call her out immediately if she ever does it again (she was drunk and being ignorant) and she has agreed that she now has to humbly accept my teasing over the matter (believe me... if you knew our relationship you'd know it is in fact in good fun... we opperate on the "fear, sarcasm, and ridicule is the sign of acceptance... so now I gave her the nickname CB - short for cock blocker - hee hee).
That's about all the advice I hae for now. I do believe that friends can get over just about anyting. If they are honest with each other (and trustworthy individuals).
